Sit and Sit

Sit and Sit

I’m writing this on my phone while at Tech for All Shook Up. Any actor knows why this is called Hell Week; sitting, waiting, boredom, long hours, frayed nerves. It’s the tedium that creates the magic.
So now that rehearsals are done I have survived the couple of weeks and have some perspective. It’s not at all easy to have two jobs! It takes a toll on both of them. While my patients will be pleased when the show opens, it will be even harder on home life. Wednesday thru Saturday I might as well be in a hotel for all I’ll be home. At least Sunday night thru Wednesday morning I’ll be home. Family is not happy. I am conflicted. On the one hand this is what I’ve wanted to do my entire life. Going back to acting after so many years is the direct result of having survived cancer (so far) and realizing I could not postpone my dreams any longer if they were to be anything but unfulfilled. So I became a scuba diver and came back to theater. I also stopped working nights so that I could coach Sommer and be home more. I made a decision not to act summers to enjoy those months with Carolyn. I don’t know how far I can take acting. Acting and psychology together take a toll physically, relationally, and also financially. I struggle with whether I am being selfish. When is it time to put your dreams away? Can I have it all? Can I fulfill all the roles in life I desire well; or will the attempt doom them all to mediocrity?